Chris Rock's 9 Rocking Oscar Monologue Moments

Chris Rock
Chris Rock

The last thing Chris Rock needed was to lose another job to Kevin Hart.

With that in mind, the comedian says he decided not to quit his gig hosting the Oscars amid a hotbed of controversy on the second consecutive year people of color were snubbed by the Academy Awards.

Below, highlights from his opening monologue that touched on other current affairs.

1. His first zinger of the night…
“I’m here at the Academy Awards, otherwise known as the White People’s Choice Awards. You realize if they nominated hosts, I wouldn’t even get this job. So y’all would be watching Neil Patrick Harris right now.”

3. On Jada Pinkett Smith boycotting the Oscars…
“Jada is going to boycott the Oscars — Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties. I wasn’t invited. Oh, that’s not an invitation I would turn down.”

4. On black actors being nominated…
“If you want black people every year at the Oscars, just have black categories like Best Black Friend. That’s right. ‘And the winner for the 18th year in a row is Wanda Sykes. This is Wanda’s 18th Black Oscar.'”

5. On systematic racism in Hollywood…
“Is Hollywood racist? You’re damn right Hollywood is racist. But it ain’t that racist that you’ve grown accustomed to. Hollywood is sorority racist. It’s like, ‘We like you Rhonda, but you’re not a Kappa.’ That’s how Hollywood is.”

6. On whether or not he should have quit hosting the Oscars…
“How come there’s only unemployed people that tell you to quit something, you know? No one with a job ever tells you to quit. So, I thought about quitting. I thought about it real hard. But, I realized, they’re gonna have the Oscars anyway. They’re not gonna cancel the Oscars because I quit. You know? And the last thing I need is to lose another job to Kevin Hart, O.K.?”

7. On why tension reached a boiling point this year…
“We had real things to protest; you know, we’re too busy being raped and lynched to care about who won best cinematographer. You know, when your grandmother’s swinging from a tree, it’s really hard to care about best documentary foreign short.”

8. On the lack of opportunity for people of color…
“Leo gets a great part every year and, you know, everybody, all you guys, get great parts all the time. But what about the black actors?Look at Jamie Foxx. Jamie Foxx is one of the best actors in the world, man. Jamie Foxx was so good in ‘Ray’ that they went to the hospital and unplugged the real Ray Charles. It’s like, ‘We don’t need two of these!’ Nah, man.”

9. On sexism…
“There’s this whole thing, ‘Ask her more. You have to ask her more.’ You know it’s like, You ask the men more. Everything’s not sexism, everything’s not racism. They ask the men more because the men are all wearing the same outfits, O.K.? Every guy in there is wearing the exact same thing. You know, if George Clooney showed up with a lime green tux on, and a swan coming out his ass, somebody would go, ‘What you wearing, George?'”

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